~my typical morning reflections~

When my sweet husband awakens to his call of Fatherhood...to provide for his house, I am usually already awake with my mind (and sometimes the enemy) reminding me of various things. This thought "How can I be a better mother?" is constantly brought up to me in the wee hours of my morning, when all is quiet and still. EXCEPT my mind! It is racing around with thoughts of the things that I NEED to get accomplished today. Laundry, dishes, breakfast, lunch, dinner, school work, play time, nap time, diaper changes, snuggles, snacks, kisses, hugs, praise, correction, harvesting veggies from the garden, cleaning and processing those veggies, making sure chores get done, encouragement, devoted (undisturbed) time with my Jesus! (I try to do this first, IF no one else is awake and needing my attention)

I often wonder how my oldest is, and his sweet baby boys. Where are they? What are they eating? Are they in need of anything? I wish that I could see them every day!

I think about my 2nd born, Andrew: How he serves the Lord! How he encourages the girls to be better to me and to their daddy and how to be better servants, how to take better care of themselves. He takes time to draw with them. He takes time to correct them. He takes time to nourish their soul.
Am I training him well for that girl that is going to come along and steal his heart? Am I teaching him how to meet her needs, and how to serve her, and provide for her?

Mariah, my 3rd: She is growing up so fast! She has such a heart for the Lord, and for people. She is trying so hard to be better about her responsibilities, and be better to her sisters who are watching everything that she does. Am I cultivating a servant's heart in her? Am I showing her how to be humble before the Lord? Am I sowing seeds of thankfulness and kindness into her heart? Am I teaching her how to treat others by my actions?

Anaiah is my 4th, and she is a jewel...a diamond in the rough: She has a tendency to fit when she doesn't like something or the way things are going on her behalf. She is a workaholic and a people pleaser and I see SO much of my personality in her...and I am working, ever so diligently, to help her overcome the things that I have struggled with all of my life. I truly wish someone had taken the time to help me understand some of these things....I might be a little further down the road by now. It is ok to be a Mary! IN fact, Jesus refers to Mary as making the better choice...to sit at His precious feet and learn from Him. Am I teaching her to take her eyes off of her situations and to focus in on the MOST important thing, Jesus?

Emari, my 5th: She is ALIVE! She is HILARIOUS! She is HAPPY! She is FUN and creative! Just a look from her and you are rolling on the floor. She is also a little lazy. She is sassy. People love her, which feeds her sense of humor. Am I giving enough attention to her? AM I shaping her attitude about entertaining people for the RIGHT reasons? Am I encouraging her to encourage others, instead of pointing out their flaws? I need to teach her that she isn't ALWAYS the boss...and that everyone gets a turn leading the game.

Marowynn, sweet little Marowynn...#6: I could tell from the moment that I held her the first time, that she was a sweet, smiley and affectionate litte girl...much like I remember being when I was little. I was always wanting hugs and affirmation, much like I see that she does. She doesn't need the same discipline as the others might. A soft scold will break her tender heart all to pieces. She tries so hard to be a little mommy, always "cooking and serving" everyone. She is incredibly smart and studious. Am I encouraging her to take correction and apply it without letting it scar her for life? AM I helping her to understand you can't make everyone happy ALL of the time? Am I reminding her that being soft is a precious gift, and to not let the cold world harden her tender heart?

Eowyn..BOLD #7: From the time I went into labor 2 weeks late, and for 5 LONG, Exhausting days, I knew that this girl was going to be something! She weighed 7lbs and 7&oz....and she was #7! YES! I think this means something!!! She is so full of energy that she can't contain herself. She is intense and intelligent. She is serious and strong. This girl can PRAY!!! She prays prayers that would put grown men to shame. "Thank you, Lord, for your POWER! And, for your miracles! And help children with allergies! Help us to be thankful, and tell the angels to give You our thank you kisses!" (just a sample of how she thinks) Am I giving her an environment to blossom in? AM I showing her HOW to push through in prayer? Am I equipping her with the tools that she needs to be His Prayer Warrior?

Avenlea, My #8: What a precious little encourager this one is! She is always telling me that I am the best, and that I am so sweet, and so beautiful, and such a good mom. Am I cultivating a heart of praise in her? AM I reinforcing what comes so natural to her already? She is only 2 1/2and is so impressionable. Am I protection her from worldly influences that draw attention to one's self rather than to others?

Ivory...tender #9: What a precious little one she is! Even though she is kind of running the house at the moment, I can see that she is funny, and sweet, and affectionate. She adores her brothers and sisters, as much as they adore her. I don't know much about her personality yet, bt, I pray that the Lord will help me to see her gifts and talents and to help her grow in HIM.

NONE of these thoughts or questions make me a good mother....none of my worries, or concerns for my children MAKE ME BETTER! I struggle every single day to feel like I am doing the best job that I can with what the Lord has blessed me with. Sometimes, I have to withdraw my opinion, so that mistakes made are lessons learned. (THIS is the hard part) SOmetimes, I get that hug that lets me know that they think that I am doing the best that I can.

The enemy of our souls tries to taunt me with my past failures, and my shortcomings. Things that I have said, or haven't said when I should have. He is pretty good about reminding me of my flaws. BUT!!! Jesus has taught me that I am an overcomer, and that He loves me so much that the world would be shocked if they knew how much He adores me. (I know....He adores you just as much ;o) But, still! I have lived my whole life thinking that I was unlovable. There was NOTHING that I did, that could ever be good enough. I really didn't know what love was, and this led to several mistakes that I have made in the past.

NOW, I know what love is! Through the love of my husband, and the love that I have for my children, I FINALLY get it! The Lord revealed Himself to me through my trials and my struggles and reminded me that "NOTHING can separate me from His love" His love for me is unconditional. He never reminds me of my faults! He encourages me to be better, in every way. He reminds me that He has maid provision for me...yes...I must seek for it, but He provides it for me, whether I find it or not. I may not have a friend in the world, but, that is ok...Jesus loves me, and as long as I have Him, I have EVERYTHING!

One thing is for certain, Motherhood keeps me humble. Motherhood keeps me before the Lord! Motherhood draws attention away from self and toward others. Motherhood is hard, exhausting, joyous, painful, stretching, rewarding, and the BEST thing I could be doing with my life right now! THIS is where the Lord has me....and THIS is where I want to bring HIM glory! I am trying SO VERY HARD! <3 Michelle

my morning thoughts....

Just Avenlea and I are up....and I sit here....watching the gentle, quiet business that goes on around me....and I think to myself...."I have such a beautiful life!" I know that all of my other babies are sound asleep in their beds dreaming of butterflies and frogs...maybe even a fish on their line...my dear husband is probably snoring away behind the closed bedroom door...(I am pretty sure he is dreaming of a fish on his line ;o)
 I can't help but think...our days of having Andrew here in our home with us is coming to a quick and all too soon end. And, although this brings me a deep sadness in the depths of my heart, I can still see the Lord's gracious hand in this beautiful picture that is unfolding before my eyes and I am at peace with it. I am so excited to see what is ahead for him. I have NO doubt that the Lord has GREAT things in store for him...and us! When my oldest left home (prematurely), I didn't have this peace. I had little comfort that it was God's Will. And EVERY day since...has had it's own amout, small or great, of pain and sorrow over the choices that have been made, over the path that has been taken. You see, Andrew....is called of the Lord. He hears the Lord's sweet voice and he follows. He waits patiently for the doors to open...he doesn't knock them all down to see which one he wants to go through. He waits...and waits....until he knows that the Lord has opened it for him before he walks through. I can't wait to see which door opens next. This is such a blessing!
A bird is on the window, seeking her babies' breakfast, I bet....Avenlea sits with what once was a bowl of grapes...only one remains... as she swirls it around and around in that tiny little bowl. You can see her brain just burning with curiousity. I hear the gentle sound of the fan in the hall. I see the first sunlight peeping through the trees. I can hear the faint barking of the dogs...probably running of those pesky wild hogs that are tearing up our back pasture (I hope). The roosters are crowing...some of the young ones sound as if the are choking instead of crowing. Birds are singing their song of the new morning. I hear the washing machine in it's last spin before it alerts me that it is time to hang out the laundry. Avenlea's sweet gentle voice is singing her favorite song "A..B...C...D...E...F....G......". I look at the clock and realize that I MUST get breakfast going for the crew...and disrupt their peaceful dreams...the morning chores are calling. Such a beautiful life! And there goes the washer ;o)
I hope YOU take time to listen......
My prayer for you this day:
 2 Thessalonians 3:16 Now the Lord of peace himself give you peace always by all means. The Lord be with you all.

 

This was taken a few weeks ago....there was a rainbow around the sun....so neat :o)

NTS: change with grace not grief

WELL! I know it has been FAR too long since I posted here....but, can I just make my excuses and say that there have been SO many things changing in our home that I haven't had the time...NO TIME!!!  I won't go into all of the boring details....I will simply say that I am THANKFUL that the Lord loves me enough to remind me of the things that are MOST important while we are passing through this life. I am thankful for family time....I know that is ALL we do....Family Time....but It is such a precious comodity these busy days. I am so thankful for the husband that the Lord has blessed me with...He is such a strong leader and so stable and firm, honest and true! I am thankful for my boys who are becoming men. I am thankful for the Lord's guiding hand, and how He ALWAYS seems to show us the way that we must go....even if it is a bit painful at times. I am thankful for ALL of my daughters...who are becoming young ladies right before my very eyes. I am thankful for the little toddler, next to the baby who has become a little girl so quickly that I can barely rememeber when she was a baby. I am thankful for the baby (who really isn't much of a baby anymore) that seems to have a 1000 word vocabulary and does a GREAT job of keeping up with the rest of the girls. She MUST be treated like them...not like a baby! It does a number on this heart of mine....I will be honest. Having to spend time away from the gang every day has opened my eyes to see the spots that seem to get overlooked some times...it has made me more aware of where I am failing as a wife, a mother, a grandmother....i DO NOT LIKE to find myself falling short....and the Lord knows this well. I am trying to be more flexible....more open to change...more loving...more serving. Things are EVER changing around here, THAT is for certain!

 She was SO excited about that Teddy bear cake :o)

 I see more man than boy these days

 

Time surly does fly

 there IS a young lady in there.....somewhere ;o)

 She is such a colorful child!

 ALWAYS a mess!!!

 One PROUD daddy....one SWEET lil' boy

 Anaiah takes life and dresses it up...it is her gift :o)

Andrew and his maskerpiece....for his final formal...

he created this tree mask....it was FANTASTIC!

 

 

Life is about growth...about change....and how we handle that growth and change

is of the UTMOST importance!!!! I amtrying to handle it with GRACE and not grief :o)

1st Birthday gifts

thought that I would post what we made for Avenlea Jade's first birthday gifts....we had such fun making things JUST for her! She LOVES LOVES LOVES all of them! She will hug her sweet teddy that Anaiah made for her....and she plops right down in the middle of her rag quilt and plays with her rag quilted letters of her name. It is more precious than I can relate from this cold, hard phone.
I have resorted to blogging from my phone because my Internet does NOT work well enough, and I just don't have so much free time to spare. My pictures are not exactly what I want...but if I am to share, they will have to do for now!
Anyway, we made all but 1 of her gifts, and she made us all feel like the time invested was not at all wasted! So precious!!!

Hog butchering day breakfast

While my crew is out (in 28 degrees) prepping all of the hog butchering supplies, I am left in the nice, warm protection of my 75 degree kitchen mAking a tantalizing EASY breakfast for my soon to be hard at work bunch. Who has the better deal? I do enjoy helping out on the butchering process, and usually do...but the freezing air is not the place for my sweet little Avenlea Jade. So, I get to peek out the window and watch as my children do, with their daddy, what I did so many cold winter mornings with my daddy. It is a feeling that nearly overwhelms this lil ol' heart of mine, slap dab near to the point of bustin'! (I sound so much like my g'ma :0)
ANYWAY...to encourage their hard work and give them a reminder of JUST EXACTLY WHY we go through the trouble of raising our own food, I am fixing an easy, but SCRUMPTOUS country breakfast of smothered smoked sausage with onions and peppers, farm fresh scrambled eggs and nice, warm, soft tortillas to wrap it up in to eat on the go.
I am sure this is going to be one BUSY day....the old gal probably weighs 350 lbs ...or more!!! Better put this baby down and get to it ;0) have a GREAT day!

A dolly for who?

I decided to make my 5 little girlies a Waldorf style doll and LOTS of baby doll clothes for their Christmas gift this year. Little did I know how much fun it would be for me :0) I am having SO much fun using up scraps and hiding out trying to get them done. I let Avenlea hold it because she was under my feet while I made it...just to see her reaction. She hugged it up real quick...but looked its head over real good...it has no eyes, mouth or hair yet. So cute!!! Here is a sneak peak at my first attempt and some of the clothes that I have made. Maybe I will know EXACTLY how to do it when I get through with #5 ;0) oh...but I am having a LOT of fun in the process!

Christmas Giveaway! - Win a $200 Gift Certificate

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It feels very good to put on my make up and know that there are no lab created harmful chemicals to absorb into my skin. I think that my favorite product is the Rawhide Organic facial serum! Look at their site...you can find a link for the list of ingredients in all of their products...you may be pleasantly surprised...I know I was! That is what sold me on the products! Check 'em out!!!